Solving Gender Equity Issues One Long, Slow, Pleasurable Step At A Time
We are a mere ten years into the 21st century. No jet packs for all yet, but things are moving at a lightning pace at Yale in the policy area.
After more than a quarter century of debate, Yale faculty members are now barred from sexual relationships with undergraduates–not just their own students, but any Yale undergrads.
Well you may ask: can we still nail grad students and postdocs?
Look: PI’s and/or faculty really should just satisfy their sexual needs elsewhere. Not with the students, not with the grad students, not with the postdocs. It is not good for anyone. I know, I know, you know a prof who screwed his grad student and they got married and it was a dreamfest. Spare me. You are completely unaware of all the collateral damage such relationships inflict, and the fact that even such “happy outcomes” are not without conflict and cost for the blissful Mrs.Biggy McSchwingerdick.
But oh, the humanity. What are we to do? Especially now that spring is upon us, and the sap is rising!
For god’s sake, just siphon off a little of that overhead money everyone contributes and give all the d00ds a Travel Jackmaster. At home, in the lab, in the car, the restroom after teaching class with all those horny coeds, whatever. Ladeez may choose from any of a wide selection of vibrators. The Original Venus Butterfly is pretty in pink and oh-so-discreet. Committee meetings will be ever so much more fun.