For My Friend With The Douchey Boss
You, my dear friend, have been EXCEEDINGLY ill for weeks, but still making sure everything at work gets covered, via arrangements with colleagues and telecommuting despite being on strict bed rest orders from your doctor. You’re getting slowly better and we, your friends, rejoice at this news. Your douchey boss, however, is hacked off about your “poor planning”.
Hmm. I would like to help my husband plan for a bout of a devastating pulmonary illness that leaves him wracked with coughing, weak, housebound, etc. Or some other illness, parameters to be specified in the future (e.g., time of onset, duration, symptoms, etc.) I assume your boss will be making him/herself available to me and my husband, and anyone else in similar circumstances, who might need to take advantage of douchey boss’s clearly superior skills in Future Sight Illness Career Planning. I will be phoning them up just as soon as I look up “A. Douche” in the phone book.